


Potatoes

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-21
Updated: 2005-11-21
Packaged: 2019-01-19 18:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12415767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Silly little all dialogue drabble. Ron and Hermione. Dinner. Potatoes. If I told you any more, it'd be pointless for you to read it. Rated just to be sure.





	Potatoes

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**_Silly, all dialogue drabble. Ron and Hermione. Etc. and so forth._ **

**_Happy reading!_ **

**_-h_ **

**_Disclaimer: Quit asking me._ **

Potatoes

“What _is_ this?”�

“Potatoes, Ron.”�

“Aren’t they a bit…hard to be potatoes?”�

“No. They aren’t. And quit playing with your food, you’re going to give yourself a concussion.”�

“Well it’s not my fault it’s so hard. This thing is like a rock, Hermione.”�

“Which is why most people wouldn’t bang it against their skulls. And _excuse_ me for trying to cook you a nice meal in place of going to the Leaky Cauldron _again_. I’ll never do it again if it offends you so much.”�

“What’s so wrong with the Leaky Cauldron? They make good potatoes. And I’m just telling the truth, no need to get so snippy about it.”�

“…You know, there’s a reason why more than one person has called you an idiot in your lifetime.”�

“Hey!”�

“I’m just telling the truth, no need to get so snippy about it.”�

“…I hate it when you do that.”�

“Do what?”�

“Use my own words against me.”�

“Well if you didn’t start pointless arguments all the time, I wouldn’t have to.”�

“I don’t start pointless arguments!”�

“Which is exactly why you’re poking a potato you claim to be a rock at my chest.”�

“---“

“Ron!”�

“What?”�

“Quit being perverse.”�

“I’m not being perverse, Hermione, I’m being a male. Besides, you brought them up.”�

“I did not bring _them_ up, I merely stated a fact concerning a general part of my body. Not specifically _them_.”�

“Boobs.”�

“Ron!”�

“Well there’s no need to skirt around the word! It’s not like we both don’t know you have them.”�

"Well you could call them something more...polite."

"Like potatoes?"

"Oh, honestly!"

"Well think about it! That could be the codename for any body part that isn't appropriately discussed in public places. We could have a dirty conversation right in the middle of Diagon Alley and no one would ever know."

“…I don’t know why I bother.”�

“Because you love me.”�

“Besides that.”�

“Because deep down, you know I’m always right.”�

“…”�

“…”�

“…”�

“Okay, I really don’t think you need to carry on this much. I was partially serious.”�

“That’s why I’m laughing.”�

“Hey, I can be serious.”�

“…“

“I can!”�

“Ron, you’re making a smiley face on you’re plate with your salad.”�

“Well that’s because it’s inedible.”�

“!”�

“OW!...You just…you just threw a pork chop bone at me!”�

“You deserved it.”�

“It was sharp! I think I’m bleeding!”�

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake Ron, quit being such a baby!”�

“---“

“---“

“---“

“Oh fine, if I kiss it and make it better will you stop sulking?”�

“…I suppose.”�

“ ”�

“There. Now eat your peas.”�

“They look like bat shit.”�

“!”�

“HA! YOU MISSED M-OW!”�

“…”�

“…”�

“…”�

“This is getting tiresome. We’re supposed to be all lovey dovey on our anniversary.”�

“Ron, you wouldn’t know lovey dovey if it smacked you in the face.”�

“I would too! I can be lovey dovey.”�

“---“

“Don’t look at me like that, Hermione. I’ll prove it.”�

“---“

“I will!”�

“What are you doing?”�

“Being lovey dovey.”�

“By kneeling in Crookshanks’ food?”�

“What? Agh! No!...By doing _this_!”�

“---“

“Doing what? Molesting yourself?”�

“Would you hold your hippogriffs, woman? I’m trying to get — this — thing --- out!”�

“A box?”�

“SHH! I’m not done yet! _Merlin_ ….”�

_shuffle_ _shuffle_

“Okay, here we go. Alright. Hermione Jane Gran-“

“…”�

“…”�

“…”�

“Oh come on, ‘Mione! There’s no need to cry! It’s only a little ring! And would you move your knee a bit? You’re crushing my potatoes- OW!”�

**_A/N: Ah, the pointlessness._ **

**_So much fun._ **

**_Review, ya?_ **

**_-h_ **


End file.
